Sunday, April 24, 2011

Teenaged Boys

There is a book that was quite popular a few years ago called,  "Men are from Mars;  Women are from Venus."  That sort of makes sense, since men are motivated by hierarchy and the war to get to the top, and women are motivated by connnecting and loving relationships.  It also makes life interesting, since men and women so often seem to speak different languages, and think totally different about some of the most basic issues in life.

But if men are from a different planet than I am, then I have to wonder if teenaged boys are from an entirely different solar system.

Take food, for instance.  Teenaged boys rarely stop to think about grocery shopping or food prep, yet they can put away astonishing amounts of food.

Or how about their ability to reason?  I have yet to meet a teenaged boy who notices when a hamper or trash can is overflowing, even though it is their responsibility and a regular chore.  The look of surprise on their face when reminded that the piece of garbage they just threw away wouldn't have landed on their foot if the can weren't overflowing is priceless!

And emotions - ai yi yi!  With women and girls, emotions tend to follow a predictable cycle.  With teenaged boys, however, this is not so.  One moment they can be happy, and the next moment, they are as grumpy as can be.  One moment they are playing nicely with a sibling, and the next, they want to throw the sibling in to next week.

All of this leads to problems for the single mom of a teenaged boy.  If I don't understand him, how am I supposed to know how to respond to him?  I know that teenaged boys puzzle even their dads occasionally, but at least dads have been there themselves and don't suffer culture shock to the same extent that moms do!

Oddly enough, having a teenaged boy is one of the reasons why I wish I were married.  Odd because then I would have yet another set of male hormones to deal with; yet logical because I'd have an interpreter and a defender to help me through the raising of this alien teenaged boy I've been blessed with.

Sometimes I question whether I can do this alone. 


Fatcat said...

I can understand needing an interpreter! I often say about Devin that we have a language barrier and although my husband is around the house, he's no help. :-/. Just keep muddling through and keep praying!

Joe said...

I think it is OK to rely on adult male friends to confidentially discuss and receive guidance about teen son issues. Unless, of course, one does not like asking men for help (per the posts of the last few days)!! ;)
My son is 13 and I am convinced his Mom has no idea what he is going through in life as he processes our recent divorce.

Denise Houser said...

Joe, you are probably right about your son's mom not knowing what he is going through. My ex didn't have a clue on how to deal with our adolescent daughter and he found himself in some very awkward situations (picture a grown man standing in a parking lot begging and pleading with a 13-year-old girl to get out of the car and go into the restaurant with him), until he learned to ask for help.

Hmmm, I hadn't thought about that for a while. Might be good motivation for me to humble myself and ask my guy friends for help with my son! Thanks for the reminder!