It Is What It Is... But Does It Have To Be?

It is what it is.  That sounds right on the surface.  I mean, how can anyone argue with the logic there?

But is this a good attitude?  Isn't there an element of fatalism or even passivity in adopting this as one's motto?

I am not one to give up easily, so this philosophy bothers me somewhat.  There are situations where it makes sense, I suppose, such as those things one honestly can't change, a la the "Serenity Prayer": 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

But as the prayer above says, there are times when one should have the courage to change the things one can, rather than  just adopting the "It is what it is" philosophy.

As a divorced mom of children under the age of 18, I still have to deal with my ex-husband, no matter how unpleasant that might be.  Sometimes those dealings are beyond unpleasant.  They can be downright annoying.  For some reason, though, several of my divorced male friends have advised me to adopt the "It is what it is" attitude when dealing with him. 

I wish I could.  But honestly, when my children are caught in the middle, I think there may be times when it would be best for me to try to change the things I can.

So I pray for wisdom. 

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.  But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.  Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.  (James 1:5-8 NIV)

I don't want to be double-minded or unstable.  I just want to have the wisdom to know when to fight and when to accept that it is what it is.

Thank You, God, for the wisdom you give so generously!