I think I mentioned in a previous post that I had signed up for an online dating site or two. Well, after a couple months, I've decided that I am not cut out for online dating. I'm not certain I am cut out for any dating. I think I may be too nice to date.
Here's the problem: I haven't learned to deal with rejection.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Mine have been hurt enough that I don't want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone else. Sometimes, the men who contact me are genuinely nice guys. But I can't have a committed, loving, monogamous relationship with every nice guy who comes along just because he is a nice guy. So I need to reject the ones whom I am fairly certain are not my type.
I'd rather not give a man a laundry list of what is "wrong" with him, because chances are that the very traits that I could not live with are the ones that another woman could not live without. Yet most men want some reason why we are not compatible. Sometimes, it isn't even a reason I can put into words. It's more a case of what isn't there than of what is.
So how does this gentle art of rejection work?
Do I tell a man why we don't belong together, or do I just say, "I'm sorry, this isn't working for me?" How long do I give it before I make that call? Is it kinder to cut off all contact with a man I am "rejecting" as a potential suitor or do I say, "Let's just be friends?" Do I let a relationship die of neglect, or do I kill it off in one fell swoop?
Any and all suggestions are welcome. And if you have any suggestions for the flip side of that (how do I let a man know that I am interested?) I will gladly entertain those ideas as well. :-)