Wow, time gets away from me when I am busy and stressed! I can't believe I have neglected posting for two whole weeks now.
Our pastor started a new sermon series titled "Leading Lives of Quiet Desperation." He opened the first message of the series by playing the Casting Crowns song, Praise You In This Storm. This song was one of the songs that carried me through my time of quiet desperation, AKA my separation. (Although I am not sure my desperation was quiet...) This song expressed almost perfectly my determination to continue praising God, even though He wasn't working things out the way I thought He should, and the storm was continuing to rage in my life.
This got me to thinking about other songs that were important to me during that time in my life. One of them was Lord (I Don't Know), by the Newsboys. My confusion and uncertainty about the future was captured nicely in this song, and the plea for His peace was the prayer of my heart.
A song that made me cry everytime I heard it was another Casting Crowns song, Slow Fade. In fact, to this day, when I hear this song, I get choked up. Was the writer of this song spying on my ex-husband as he did his "slow fade" into adultery? How did he capture so clearly my concern that one or more of my children might follow him down this road someday?
A song that we sometimes sing in church took on a whole new meaning for me during that time in my life. Blessed Be Your Name (and I liked the version by the Newsboys with Rebecca St. James) suddenly was more about my marriage than about the loss a friend had suffered several years previously. I wanted to be able to continue to say "Blessed Be Your Name!" despite my circumstances, to get through the death of my marriage with the same measure of peace and stability as my friend had displayed during his loss.
It's amazing how we can find so much comfort in songs that seem to fit our circumstances.
What songs speak to you during your times of quiet (or not-so-quiet) desperation?