Thursday, June 16, 2011

Dreaming of a Real Man

One more reason why I would like to be married again:  I need the emotional support. 
I know some of you who are married are thinking, "Yeah, right, like you'd ever get that from a husband!"  You know what?  You probably get more support from your husband than you think you do.  But it's one of those weird things that you don't miss until it's gone.

My ex was emotionally unavailable for much of our marriage.  But the simple fact of knowing that there was somebody there to share the burdens of raising kids, to take on some of the responsibility for how they turn out, and even just to be a warm body and listening ear (even if he really wasn't listening) at the end of a long day was a comfort.

This summer, I am overwhelmed.  I miss that support, no matter how little I had.  I also miss the stress-relief of someone to hold me at the end of a long day.  I miss having someone whose future is so tied to mine that he prays for me, knowing that he is really strenghtening himself when he does that. 

This morning, I turned on the radio and caught the tail end of Family Life Today.  They were talking to Stu Webber about "applied masculinity."  That got me thinking.

Our culture tends to devalue the role of husbands and fathers, and it seems that many men are willing to "live down" to the cultural view of men as bumbling idiots who aren't really necessary in a family. 

But to borrow the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, jr.,  I have a dream.  I dream that someday, God will bless me with a man who understands how important and necessary he is to me and to our family.  I dream that God will bless me with a man who refuses to stoop to the level that the media places men on, and will instead stand up tall and be a real man, one who stands firm and strives to be all that God has called him to be.

And no, this isn't just a fairy tale.  There are men out there who are real men.  I know some of them, and I pray that someday one of those men will be a part of my life and my family.  I could use the support of a real man.

1 comment:

Kim said...

Oh, Denise I know this feeling all too well. I often say the hardest part about being a single mom to many is not the day to day burdens. It's the knowledge that I am carrying the burdens alone. At least in my marriage, I "thought" he had my back, although he really didn't. In truth, he undermined my authority and taught my children horrible ways to treat me. But... I was idealistic, submissive, and thought that it was a partnership. Call it a placebo effect, but it helped!