The Lonely Place

I am in my lonely place again, so this post may be a downer.  No need to worry -  I come here way more often than I like, but I always leave this place eventually.   

The lonely place is a place of craving.  When I am here, I long to be loved, to be needed and wanted.  I want to be what I was created to be, to be complete.  But instead I feel alone and useless and fractured.

The lonely place is a place devoid of all comfort.  My kids can hug me, my friends can hug me, but it isn't enough.  I know that Christ is all-sufficient, and that He offers me comfort, but I can't feel that comfort while I am here in the lonely place.

When I am in the lonely place, I am almost painfully aware of the calling God has called me to that I am not able to fulfill at this point, either due to lack of training, or to family circumstances, or to others who aren't willing to cooperate with His plan right now.   I am also acutely aware of the fact that God created me to be a helpmate. And I am acutely aware that I am not one at this stage of my life.

 The danger of the lonely place for me is that sometimes I will try very hard to escape it, and in so doing, I end up hurting someone.  I may try to take matters into my own hands and force things that shouldn't be forced.  Or I may become willing to "settle" for someone or something less than who or what God intends for me. 

My solution is to try to focus on my relationship with God, and on His amazing love for me, but even that is difficult in the lonely place.  Keep me in your prayers, please.  I would like this visit to the lonely place to be a short one.