Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Grab Bag

First, an announcement:  I have been accepted into a graduate program in marriage and family counseling!!!  I am thrilled, but I will be even more thrilled when I see how God plans to pay for it.  Tuition alone will be between $5625 and $7500 per semester, and we all know that textbooks and other fees aren't say nothing of the gas to commute to school.  So please pray that God will provide the resources for me to go to school, since I truly believe that this is His will for me.  Thank you!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog.

I have so many questions running through my mind, which I would love comments on.  So here is my grab bag of a post.  Feel free to grab and respond to as many as you'd like!

1. How can a divorced person who was cheated on by his/her spouse learn to trust again?

2. How long should a courtship last?  (Hey, I am probably already at the midpoint of my life, so I'm running out of time!  :-) )

3. Why do the men who have been interested in me all have at least one big flaw?  Let's see, so far, one lived too far away; a couple have never had children and would be overwhelmed by life with my four; one had no teeth - no, I am NOT kidding!; one really should reconcile with his wife...

4. How do I let a man know that I am interested, without seeming pushy or scaring him off?

5. Is it bad that my list of what I DON'T want in a man is at least as long as my list of what I DO want?

6. Would I be able to handle being a stepmother?

7. If a man flirts with me, does that mean he likes me?

8. And another one like that:  Why do people flirt if they have no intention of letting it go any further?

9. Since we're on the topic, if a man flirts with me every time he sees me, to the point where my kids tell me he likes me, but then he tells me that he has no interest in dating or remarrying, is he sending a mixed message?  If so, what is the REAL message?

Looking forward to your wisdom on these matters!


Juliabohemian said...

I am 33, was married for 14 years and am now going through a divorce, not by my choice. I wish I had some imput. I would like answers to these questions as well.

I think I am actually mourning the identity of being married. It has been so long since I've given thought to any of these things I'm not even sure if I'd known if I was being flirted with. No kidding.

Mr. G's Mrs. G said...

#2, IMO, 3 months.

Denise Houser said...

{{{{{Julia}}}}} I wish I could just sit down with you and chat! What you are feeling is so much like where I was a few years ago, so first of all, know that it is normal...not fun, but normal. And yes, it is very much like mourning the loss of your identity as a wife. I can even tell you WHEN I went through that - it was summer 2007, about 7 or 8 months after my husband left, and I can remember thinking, "But if I'm not a wife and helper to my husband, who am I? What is my purpose?" For what it's worth, with time, you will work through that.

Honestly, I am never sure if I am being flirted with or not. My KIDS tell me when I am, sometimes, LOL! But I will say this: it's good to take some time off from men to figure out who you are and where God may be taking you before you plunge into the dating scene.

If you want to message me privately, look for me on FB. I would love to be a sounding board for you!

Denise Houser said...

Mr. G's Mrs. G., I would like that answer except for one thing: I am as skittish as a wild bunny and need to take things slowly this time around. :-)

Juliabohemian said...

Thank you Denise. I looked for you on FB, but there are a lot of Denise Housers. So here's my URL:

and feel free to check out my blog as well. Thanks.