Just in case anyone thought I was whining or complaining about my marital status in my last post, today I am going to give equal time to the up side of my state of being. Without further ado, here are my top ten reasons why being unmarried is a good thing.
1. Nobody steals my blankets on cold nights.
2. Nobody keeps me awake with their snoring. Well, at least not in my room. Several of my children snore on occasion, sometimes loudly enough to wake me.
3. Nobody hogs my bed by taking his half out of the middle, leaving me to dangle precariously on the edge.
4. Nobody's alarm wakes me hours before I actually need to get up, except for my teenaged daughter, who sets hers early so she can beat me into the shower. Don't tell her, but I actually prefer to let her go first, so I can sleep in AND have a warmed-up bathroom when I go in.
5. I don't have to have dinner on the table at an exact time each evening. In fact, calling it "Catch What You Can Night" and letting each person find whatever leftovers they'd like whenever they are hungry is okay sometimes. (Don't ask me how many times this week. It was a busy week....)
6. I don't have to rush home from activities we are all enjoying so we will be there when someone gets home from work.
7. We can all fit in a normal family-sized car in a pinch, although it's tight stuffing two adult-sized kids in a backseat with my only remaining child-sized child. Still, when there were six of us, only minivans or SUV's were practical.
8. Along those same lines, there is room to bring along a friend or two in the van.
9. We can enjoy activities that my ex-husband didn't care for, like tent-camping.
10. I get to make all the parenting decisions. In fact, I get to make all the decisions for my household. Because my view on a wife's role is based on the Biblical standard of "Wives, submit to your husbands," this is something I would not be able to do if I were still married. Also, it forces me to rely on God for the wisdom on how to parent my kids, since I don't have a husband to guide our family. And really, who better to rely on?
So being without a husband isn't all bad. There are good things to be found even in my unmarried state, which is why I can say with the apostle Paul, "I have learned to be content in whatever state I am in!" I may occasionally feel as if I am missing out, but truly, I am blessed no matter what my marital status may be!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Top Ten Reasons Why I Miss Having a Husband
I'm sitting in the "Internet Cafe" at an automobile dealership, waiting for repairs on my minivan to be completed. This is just one of the many reasons why I miss having a husband. So I think today I'll make a list of those reasons.
1. I miss having a husband to deal with vehicle repairs. It would be great to have one who could do those repairs himself, but even just one who would be willing to deal with the service people would be great!
2. I miss having a husband when I am cold. A warm body to cuddle up against would be nice, and somewhere warm to put my cold feet when I go to bed at night would be wonderful!
3. I miss having a husband when two or more of my kids need to be in two or more different places at the same time. I still haven't learned the art of cloning myself. :-)
4. I miss having a husband when something exciting happens and I want to share it with someone who cares. Yes, I can tell my girlfriends, but I would love to have someone whose life is so interwoven with mine that my joys are his joys.
5. I miss having a husband when I am stressed. Husbands are great for stress-relief. I especially miss backrubs.
6. Along those same lines, I miss having a husband now, when my back is itchy from the dry weather. If only I had someone to apply lotion to my back, or even just to scratch my itches for me!
7. I miss being married at church and concerts and plays and even at restaurants. It's very difficult to look around and see so many happy couples. Sitting behind a lucky woman whose husband has his arm around her at an event is sometimes almost physically painful for me.
8. I miss having a husband when my friends are not getting along with their husbands. I want to tell them, "Hey, at least you HAVE a husband, even if he is behaving like a jerk at the moment!" Okay, sometimes I DO tell them that, LOL!
9. I miss having a husband when my teen-aged son, who is bigger than I am, allows his testosterone to get the best of him and speaks to me disrespectfully. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a husband to tell him, "That is my wife and you will NOT speak to her like that!"
10. I miss having a husband at the holidays. Yes, it is stressful to figure out what to give the love of my life as a gift, but you know what? I would give almost anything for that type of stress right now!
I don't want to end on a downer, so I will leave you with this thought. If you have a husband, stop and thank the Lord for him. Then go give him a hug and let him know how grateful you are for him. As for me, I think when my van is finished, I will go treat myself to an ice cream cone, since I don't have a husband to tell me that it's crazy to eat ice cream in this weather! :-)
1. I miss having a husband to deal with vehicle repairs. It would be great to have one who could do those repairs himself, but even just one who would be willing to deal with the service people would be great!
2. I miss having a husband when I am cold. A warm body to cuddle up against would be nice, and somewhere warm to put my cold feet when I go to bed at night would be wonderful!
3. I miss having a husband when two or more of my kids need to be in two or more different places at the same time. I still haven't learned the art of cloning myself. :-)
4. I miss having a husband when something exciting happens and I want to share it with someone who cares. Yes, I can tell my girlfriends, but I would love to have someone whose life is so interwoven with mine that my joys are his joys.
5. I miss having a husband when I am stressed. Husbands are great for stress-relief. I especially miss backrubs.
6. Along those same lines, I miss having a husband now, when my back is itchy from the dry weather. If only I had someone to apply lotion to my back, or even just to scratch my itches for me!
7. I miss being married at church and concerts and plays and even at restaurants. It's very difficult to look around and see so many happy couples. Sitting behind a lucky woman whose husband has his arm around her at an event is sometimes almost physically painful for me.
8. I miss having a husband when my friends are not getting along with their husbands. I want to tell them, "Hey, at least you HAVE a husband, even if he is behaving like a jerk at the moment!" Okay, sometimes I DO tell them that, LOL!
9. I miss having a husband when my teen-aged son, who is bigger than I am, allows his testosterone to get the best of him and speaks to me disrespectfully. I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a husband to tell him, "That is my wife and you will NOT speak to her like that!"
10. I miss having a husband at the holidays. Yes, it is stressful to figure out what to give the love of my life as a gift, but you know what? I would give almost anything for that type of stress right now!
I don't want to end on a downer, so I will leave you with this thought. If you have a husband, stop and thank the Lord for him. Then go give him a hug and let him know how grateful you are for him. As for me, I think when my van is finished, I will go treat myself to an ice cream cone, since I don't have a husband to tell me that it's crazy to eat ice cream in this weather! :-)
Friday, December 3, 2010
Scarred Hearts; Hard Hearts
First, I apologize for not writing much in November. It was a difficult month for me, since four years ago in November I found out about my husband's affair; two years ago in November we were hammering out our divorce agreement; and this November my ex-husband got remarried. I didn't expect his remarriage to bother me, and I thought I had put all those other things to rest, but I was wrong.
On the plus side, at least it lets me know that I am still soft-hearted enough to feel something.
Which brings me to my topic for this post.
I have talked to several divorced friends recently and I have seen an interesting phenomenon. When the first dating relationship after the divorce ends, it is almost more devastating than the divorce itself. It feels like someone has torn open the divorce-wounded heart and roughly rubbed salt in that bleeding wound. Eventually, the pain lessens, but the divorced person is left with yet another scar on his or her heart.
How many scars can a heart have before it becomes hard and unfeeling?
This is exactly why I don't want my teens to play the dating game! Each break-up a person goes through will leave its mark on their heart, and we all know that scar tissue is tough and knotty and ugly. I don't want my children's hearts to be like this. I want them to be able to give a soft, vulnerable, loving heart to their spouse on their wedding day.
To tell the truth, I'd like to do the same, but it may be too late for me. And even if it isn't, people in my generation only know the dating game. We have no experience in the lost art of courtship, so we continue to risk our hearts by dating.
In my perfect scenario, I would meet a man, we'd become friends, our families would play together, work together, and worship together. As time went on, we'd gradually realize that our feelings for one another were growing into something beyond friendship. We'd see that our families fit together, that we played and worked and worshipped well together, and we'd make the decision to become one family.
Can that happen? I don't know, but I do know that the dating game comes with the risk of a hardened heart.
On the plus side, at least it lets me know that I am still soft-hearted enough to feel something.
Which brings me to my topic for this post.
I have talked to several divorced friends recently and I have seen an interesting phenomenon. When the first dating relationship after the divorce ends, it is almost more devastating than the divorce itself. It feels like someone has torn open the divorce-wounded heart and roughly rubbed salt in that bleeding wound. Eventually, the pain lessens, but the divorced person is left with yet another scar on his or her heart.
How many scars can a heart have before it becomes hard and unfeeling?
This is exactly why I don't want my teens to play the dating game! Each break-up a person goes through will leave its mark on their heart, and we all know that scar tissue is tough and knotty and ugly. I don't want my children's hearts to be like this. I want them to be able to give a soft, vulnerable, loving heart to their spouse on their wedding day.
To tell the truth, I'd like to do the same, but it may be too late for me. And even if it isn't, people in my generation only know the dating game. We have no experience in the lost art of courtship, so we continue to risk our hearts by dating.
In my perfect scenario, I would meet a man, we'd become friends, our families would play together, work together, and worship together. As time went on, we'd gradually realize that our feelings for one another were growing into something beyond friendship. We'd see that our families fit together, that we played and worked and worshipped well together, and we'd make the decision to become one family.
Can that happen? I don't know, but I do know that the dating game comes with the risk of a hardened heart.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Covenant Marriage
I've been doing some reading about Covenant Marriages.
Apparently, three states have a covenant marriage option for couples in their state. Other states have tried and failed to pass legislation that would allow for covenant marriage licenses to be issued in their state. The gist of a covenant marriage is that the parties agree to premarital counseling and to limit the grounds on which they may divorce, usually to adultery, abuse, or a felony crime being committed by one partner. The agreement also specifies that the couple will undergo marriage counseling and a longer-than-normally-required period of separation before a divorce is granted. Additionally, in these states, "normal" marriages can be upgraded to a covenant marriage at any point after the wedding.
I was surprised to learn that although such marriages are purely voluntary, there is some strong opposition to it. The reasons it is opposed are mostly based on anecdotal accounts of one partner being pressured into it, or on judges not wanting to grant a divorce to a couple with a covenant marriage even when conditions have been met if one party doesn't want the divorce, thus endangering the other party.
This raises some questions in my mind. First, if one partner is committed enough to the marriage to desire covenant marriage, but the other is not, shouldn't that raise some red flags for both of them? Perhaps the premarital counseling required for a covenant marriage would be a good idea, since they obviously have differing ideas about what a marriage commitment really means.
Second, this whole idea has a religious foundation. The idea of unbreakable covenants as opposed to contracts which can be broken is found in the Hebrew and Christian Bibles, as well as in the Q'ran, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the idea exists in other religions as well. So why would those who might enter into this religious commitment be offended at the idea that they must wait a long time and receive counsel before they can break the covenant? Shouldn't they want to give their marriages every chance to succeed, since these same religions usually condemn divorce as well?
After giving it some thought, I think that any two Christians should be able to enter a covenant marriage and make it work. If they can't, they are not relying on the God who blesses that covenant, and it should be a wake-up call for them to go back to the beginning and examine their foundation. Chances are good that one or both partners have drifted from their relationship with God, and that in turn, has led to a drifting away from their relationship to one another.
That said, I hereby declare that if/when I remarry, I want a covenant marriage! My state doesn't offer that as a legal option, but I want the man I marry to have the degree of commitment to the marriage that would allow him to make a covenant with me, in the presence of God and our families and friends. Just a contract isn't good enough for me. Allowing divorce as an out in case the feelings fade or one of us meets someone else or we grow apart isn't something I want to be party to.
For my readers who are married, is your marriage a covenant between you and your spouse, or is it a contract? Could you and your spouse convert your marriage to a covenant marriage if you lived in a state that offers that option?
Apparently, three states have a covenant marriage option for couples in their state. Other states have tried and failed to pass legislation that would allow for covenant marriage licenses to be issued in their state. The gist of a covenant marriage is that the parties agree to premarital counseling and to limit the grounds on which they may divorce, usually to adultery, abuse, or a felony crime being committed by one partner. The agreement also specifies that the couple will undergo marriage counseling and a longer-than-normally-required period of separation before a divorce is granted. Additionally, in these states, "normal" marriages can be upgraded to a covenant marriage at any point after the wedding.
I was surprised to learn that although such marriages are purely voluntary, there is some strong opposition to it. The reasons it is opposed are mostly based on anecdotal accounts of one partner being pressured into it, or on judges not wanting to grant a divorce to a couple with a covenant marriage even when conditions have been met if one party doesn't want the divorce, thus endangering the other party.
This raises some questions in my mind. First, if one partner is committed enough to the marriage to desire covenant marriage, but the other is not, shouldn't that raise some red flags for both of them? Perhaps the premarital counseling required for a covenant marriage would be a good idea, since they obviously have differing ideas about what a marriage commitment really means.
Second, this whole idea has a religious foundation. The idea of unbreakable covenants as opposed to contracts which can be broken is found in the Hebrew and Christian Bibles, as well as in the Q'ran, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn that the idea exists in other religions as well. So why would those who might enter into this religious commitment be offended at the idea that they must wait a long time and receive counsel before they can break the covenant? Shouldn't they want to give their marriages every chance to succeed, since these same religions usually condemn divorce as well?
After giving it some thought, I think that any two Christians should be able to enter a covenant marriage and make it work. If they can't, they are not relying on the God who blesses that covenant, and it should be a wake-up call for them to go back to the beginning and examine their foundation. Chances are good that one or both partners have drifted from their relationship with God, and that in turn, has led to a drifting away from their relationship to one another.
That said, I hereby declare that if/when I remarry, I want a covenant marriage! My state doesn't offer that as a legal option, but I want the man I marry to have the degree of commitment to the marriage that would allow him to make a covenant with me, in the presence of God and our families and friends. Just a contract isn't good enough for me. Allowing divorce as an out in case the feelings fade or one of us meets someone else or we grow apart isn't something I want to be party to.
For my readers who are married, is your marriage a covenant between you and your spouse, or is it a contract? Could you and your spouse convert your marriage to a covenant marriage if you lived in a state that offers that option?
Monday, November 1, 2010
Throwing Stones
Last night a friend who is separated from her husband thanked me for not shunning her. That stopped me in my tracks. Why would someone who is part of the Body of Christ need to feel gratitude for not being shunned by another member of the Body?
Unfortunately, I know why. In fact, I used to be one who might have shunned my friend. I've only recently learned the art of loving the sinner while hating the sin, and I still haven't perfected it. But this is one of the most important lessons I have learned through my separation and divorce.
When my parents divorced, shunning the sinner was the norm. In fact, even though my father left my mother for another woman, so she had biblical grounds for the divorce, and even though my father actually divorced her, my mother felt the repercussions of the divorce at church. She was asked to stop teaching Sunday School to peschoolers because some of the parents were uncomfortable having their children taught by a divorced woman.
I encountered something similar many years ago. I have to mention here that I have been married and divorced twice. My first divorce was not on biblical grounds. It was a case of two young people who didn't fulfill their God-given roles in their marriage and made a horrible mess of their marriage. I could offer some excuses here, and I could also turn this into a discussion about the lack of support for young couples in the Church, but I think instead I will just leave it at that for now.
Two years after my first divorce, I remarried. A year or so after that, I began leading a ladies' Bible study about women of the Bible. Several weeks into the study, we were approaching the study of David and Abigail, and the lesson touched on the issues of submissiveness and divorce. I knew that with my background of a marriage that failed partly because of my lack of submissiveness, I shouldn't be the one to teach this lesson. So I approached my pastor's wife and asked if she would be willing to teach this lesson. I am not certain how things went behind the scenes, but the next thing I knew, I was called into a meeting with the pastor and two of the elders and told that I could no longer lead the Bible study, and that I would have to undergo 12 weeks of "disciplinary counseling" for my divorce and remarriage.
Wow. Three and a half years after my divorce, two years after my remarriage, I was being disciplined. Somehow, it felt more like I was being shunned.
What a lesson this was for me! God used this humiliating experience to begin softening my attitude toward other sinners. He reminded me that we all have sinned and fallen short, and none of us has the right to cast stones at others. No, we shouldn't condone their sins, but at the same time, we need to love them enough to come alongside and shoulder their burden so that we may gently restore them.
Those who have spoken gently into my life and who have shared my burden by praying for me, asking how I am, and offering to help are the ones who I will choose to listen to. However, those who throw stones at me or shun me will no longer have my ear.
For this reason, I am part of a very small minority in my friend's life right now, and we are being outshouted by those who would urge her to follow the world's ways instead of God's. If her marriage ends, I believe that those who could have spoken gently but instead chose to shun her may bear some of the responsibility. I don't want that responsibility, so I will continue to speak gently and share her burden in any way that I can.
Which approach will you take when a friend sins?
Unfortunately, I know why. In fact, I used to be one who might have shunned my friend. I've only recently learned the art of loving the sinner while hating the sin, and I still haven't perfected it. But this is one of the most important lessons I have learned through my separation and divorce.
When my parents divorced, shunning the sinner was the norm. In fact, even though my father left my mother for another woman, so she had biblical grounds for the divorce, and even though my father actually divorced her, my mother felt the repercussions of the divorce at church. She was asked to stop teaching Sunday School to peschoolers because some of the parents were uncomfortable having their children taught by a divorced woman.
I encountered something similar many years ago. I have to mention here that I have been married and divorced twice. My first divorce was not on biblical grounds. It was a case of two young people who didn't fulfill their God-given roles in their marriage and made a horrible mess of their marriage. I could offer some excuses here, and I could also turn this into a discussion about the lack of support for young couples in the Church, but I think instead I will just leave it at that for now.
Two years after my first divorce, I remarried. A year or so after that, I began leading a ladies' Bible study about women of the Bible. Several weeks into the study, we were approaching the study of David and Abigail, and the lesson touched on the issues of submissiveness and divorce. I knew that with my background of a marriage that failed partly because of my lack of submissiveness, I shouldn't be the one to teach this lesson. So I approached my pastor's wife and asked if she would be willing to teach this lesson. I am not certain how things went behind the scenes, but the next thing I knew, I was called into a meeting with the pastor and two of the elders and told that I could no longer lead the Bible study, and that I would have to undergo 12 weeks of "disciplinary counseling" for my divorce and remarriage.
Wow. Three and a half years after my divorce, two years after my remarriage, I was being disciplined. Somehow, it felt more like I was being shunned.
What a lesson this was for me! God used this humiliating experience to begin softening my attitude toward other sinners. He reminded me that we all have sinned and fallen short, and none of us has the right to cast stones at others. No, we shouldn't condone their sins, but at the same time, we need to love them enough to come alongside and shoulder their burden so that we may gently restore them.
Those who have spoken gently into my life and who have shared my burden by praying for me, asking how I am, and offering to help are the ones who I will choose to listen to. However, those who throw stones at me or shun me will no longer have my ear.
For this reason, I am part of a very small minority in my friend's life right now, and we are being outshouted by those who would urge her to follow the world's ways instead of God's. If her marriage ends, I believe that those who could have spoken gently but instead chose to shun her may bear some of the responsibility. I don't want that responsibility, so I will continue to speak gently and share her burden in any way that I can.
Which approach will you take when a friend sins?
Friday, October 22, 2010
Dating - Or Not
I did something crazy this week. I signed up at an online dating site.
Within 12 hours I had received an email that some gentleman was asking for a photo of me. Once I got past my shock that my being a homeschooling mom of four didn't scare him off, I clicked on the link to see what kind of man this was. To my surprise, this information was going to cost me. The smallest amount of money I could pay right now to join and find out more about this gentleman was close to $50.
Uh, no. I am not that desperate nor that curious. And suddenly, I think maybe I don't want to do this online dating thing after all.
This whole experience was quite eye-opening. There are apparently people out there who will spend large amounts of money (anywhere from $50 for one month to close to $300 for a 12-month membership) to find someone to spend time with and possibly marry. I actually know three men who have used the same site that I signed up with. Interestingly enough, not one of them is married as a result.
While I would like to think that online dating is just another phenomenon brought about by our high-tech society, I don't think this is the case. For many years, people have paid matchmakers to find them a match. This is just a new take on that old system.
Is this the best way to find someone to spend one's life with? And will these matches made by a computer be more immune to divorce than other marriages?
I don't think so. I think divorce is a direct outcome of our society's dating practices.
How so?
Dating tends to lead to serial monogomy. You date one person for a while, and when that person annoys you or the thrill has worn off, you move on. Unfortunately, the attitude that "there are plenty more fish in the sea, and I have the right to find one that makes me happier" can carry over into marriage. It may be deeply buried, but when this has become a person's way of thinking, it doesn't change the moment the wedding vows are exchanged.
Since I have teenagers, I need to figure out what the alternatives are to dating. Right now, my 16-year-old is doing what we call "Family Dating." She has a boyfriend, but the two of them only spend time together under the watchful eyes of their parents and siblings or at well-chaperoned church youth activities.
We considered courtship, but without an involved father, the traditional models of courtship will not work well.
I have joked with my kids for years that we would be doing arranged marriages, but I don't think they are going to go for that.
So what other alternatives are there, both for my kids and for me? Is dating okay for a divorcee?
What do you think?
Within 12 hours I had received an email that some gentleman was asking for a photo of me. Once I got past my shock that my being a homeschooling mom of four didn't scare him off, I clicked on the link to see what kind of man this was. To my surprise, this information was going to cost me. The smallest amount of money I could pay right now to join and find out more about this gentleman was close to $50.
Uh, no. I am not that desperate nor that curious. And suddenly, I think maybe I don't want to do this online dating thing after all.
This whole experience was quite eye-opening. There are apparently people out there who will spend large amounts of money (anywhere from $50 for one month to close to $300 for a 12-month membership) to find someone to spend time with and possibly marry. I actually know three men who have used the same site that I signed up with. Interestingly enough, not one of them is married as a result.
While I would like to think that online dating is just another phenomenon brought about by our high-tech society, I don't think this is the case. For many years, people have paid matchmakers to find them a match. This is just a new take on that old system.
Is this the best way to find someone to spend one's life with? And will these matches made by a computer be more immune to divorce than other marriages?
I don't think so. I think divorce is a direct outcome of our society's dating practices.
How so?
Dating tends to lead to serial monogomy. You date one person for a while, and when that person annoys you or the thrill has worn off, you move on. Unfortunately, the attitude that "there are plenty more fish in the sea, and I have the right to find one that makes me happier" can carry over into marriage. It may be deeply buried, but when this has become a person's way of thinking, it doesn't change the moment the wedding vows are exchanged.
Since I have teenagers, I need to figure out what the alternatives are to dating. Right now, my 16-year-old is doing what we call "Family Dating." She has a boyfriend, but the two of them only spend time together under the watchful eyes of their parents and siblings or at well-chaperoned church youth activities.
We considered courtship, but without an involved father, the traditional models of courtship will not work well.
I have joked with my kids for years that we would be doing arranged marriages, but I don't think they are going to go for that.
So what other alternatives are there, both for my kids and for me? Is dating okay for a divorcee?
What do you think?
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Little Things
It's the little things that matter.
Yesterday, a dear friend went to Lowe's with me and bought the supplies to do some much-needed repairs around my home. Unfortunately, he had to go home before the repairs were made.
So this morning, I decided to tackle the toilet repair. It has been leaking for the past month or more, at first just a little bit, but lately there has been a steady trickle of water in the tank.
It took me much longer than it would've taken my friend, but I did it! I replaced the flapper valve all by myself. Well, almost by myself. My son watched and encouraged and handed me things. There is still a minor glitch (I think I need to figure out how to shorten the chain), but no more leak!
The next project I tackeld was the bathroom door. This door has been the bane of my existence for the past few years. It keeps falling off its hinges. I've made several attempts at repairing it. Some of them have held for a month or two, but none have totally fixed it. The last repair attempt ended in a burst of creativity:
"Hey kids, it doesn't matter if the door won't shut tightly! Just push the magazine basket up against it to hold it shut while you are in there."
So for months, the magazine basket has acted as a doorstop when the door is shut. Today I tackled the door again. I haven't finished the repair, because my arms got tired trying to screw in screws over my head, and my patience with the child who was helping to hold the door while I made the repair was wearing thin, so I took a break. But I think this time it may work. At least the door will shut tightly now.
Little repairs like these are probably no big deal to some people, but to a single woman who doesn't really know anything about tools or how to use them, this is a major triumph. It makes me want to sing "I am woman, hear me roar," or something like that. At the very least, it convinces me that I can do this job of single mom for a little while longer.
It's the little things that matter!
Yesterday, a dear friend went to Lowe's with me and bought the supplies to do some much-needed repairs around my home. Unfortunately, he had to go home before the repairs were made.
So this morning, I decided to tackle the toilet repair. It has been leaking for the past month or more, at first just a little bit, but lately there has been a steady trickle of water in the tank.
It took me much longer than it would've taken my friend, but I did it! I replaced the flapper valve all by myself. Well, almost by myself. My son watched and encouraged and handed me things. There is still a minor glitch (I think I need to figure out how to shorten the chain), but no more leak!
The next project I tackeld was the bathroom door. This door has been the bane of my existence for the past few years. It keeps falling off its hinges. I've made several attempts at repairing it. Some of them have held for a month or two, but none have totally fixed it. The last repair attempt ended in a burst of creativity:
"Hey kids, it doesn't matter if the door won't shut tightly! Just push the magazine basket up against it to hold it shut while you are in there."
So for months, the magazine basket has acted as a doorstop when the door is shut. Today I tackled the door again. I haven't finished the repair, because my arms got tired trying to screw in screws over my head, and my patience with the child who was helping to hold the door while I made the repair was wearing thin, so I took a break. But I think this time it may work. At least the door will shut tightly now.
Little repairs like these are probably no big deal to some people, but to a single woman who doesn't really know anything about tools or how to use them, this is a major triumph. It makes me want to sing "I am woman, hear me roar," or something like that. At the very least, it convinces me that I can do this job of single mom for a little while longer.
It's the little things that matter!
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