Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tough Girl Gone Soft

When I was younger, say in my teens and twenties I don't think anyone ever would've described me as "kind" or "gentle."  I was tough.  I had to be, to keep myself from falling apart from the pain inside me.

But then I got married to a man who loved me, and became a mom, and I began to soften.  I went to Community Bible Study and became more aware of who God is and I softened more. 

Then my marriage broke into a million painful shards and so did I. 

The choice at that point was to either quickly pull myself together and become that tough girl I once was, or.... let God continue to soften me.  To let all those broken pieces be tossed into the fire and melted down and formed into something new. 

It would hurt to go through the fire, and wasn't I already hurt enough by the breaking of my marriage?

But God held out that offer, and He wooed me gently, and I chose Him.

This is the result.

I like it, for the most part.  But sometimes my kindness and gentleness have led to more pain.

This is one of those times.

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